Katherine Bouglai

Define Your Dating Purpose.



Posted: Sunday, February 21, 2010

by
Coaching For Singles.

When you go out on dates, does your dating have a purpose? If so, what is this purpose for you? Why do you go out on dates? Your answer may be clear and simple, such as: To find a relationship or to practice. However, what you may not know is the fact that besides having a conscious dating purpose we all have a subconscious purpose we are frequently not aware of. Find out what it may be for you from this article.

We all know that the reason why we date is ultimately to find a relationship. For some people dating is enjoyable, others perceive it as an equivalent to torture. People who enjoy dating a lot have a tendency to stay single and date longer and have harder time settling down. While those who say they hate dating ironically dislike it for this very reason they have hard time finding the right person to be in a relationship with. So the question is: how can you transform your dating experience so that it becomes both fun and meaningful and at the same time you reach your ultimate goal loving relationship?

The answer is, confront all your conscious as well as subconscious reasons for dating and redefine your dating purpose. Chances are, you already know what your conscious reasons for dating are, so let's talk about subconscious reasons. Do you have family members or friends who make you feel down or depressed about being single? If that's the case, your subconscious reasons may be to either resist them or comply with what they tell you. Whenever there is compliance, there is always resistance. Your compliance may be going out on dates to show them that you're not just being single, you're doing something about it. While your resistance is to gather up the evidence to support a certain limiting belief you may have about dating.

For example, if your limiting belief about dating is "All the good ones are taken," then one of your subconscious purposes for dating would be to gather up the evidence that, indeed all the singles you meet out there aren't good for you and all the ones you find attractive are either married or in a committed relationship with someone else. Or, to rebel against your family and friends trying to push you into a relationship you may have a dating purpose to prove it to them that you are just fine being single.

Now that you have confronted your subconscious reasons for dating you're probably experiencing the "Aha!" moment. Enjoy it. Now, lets get to the redefining your dating purpose part. How about making your dating purpose to learn and grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually, to learn how to relate to and be another human being while at the same time remaining to be authentic and true to your core values. The truth is, if all singles that are looking and dating make this their primary dating purpose then they would look at each date they go to as a meaningful learning experience. Each time they go out on a date that isn't meant to ultimately lead to a relationship, if they can learn setting boundaries they have mastered something new; if they have learned to not take rejection personally that is a huge indicator of personal growth and maturity. If you celebrate your growth and wins rather than focus on how challenging it was for you or how painful it felt to be rejected, your dating experience is guaranteed to be more fun and meaningful.
Katherine Bouglai is a relationship and dating expert and she works with singles who are frustrated by attracting emotionally unavailable partners.  In their work together, Katherine takes her clients through the special program which helps them get real about what they want in a relationship, make a commitment to themselves and attract a quality partner who is both committed to them and fits into their ideal relationship.  Do you want to know what it takes to attract a committed partner and build the relationship you desire? Go to Her Web Site and find out
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